purplefish

a purge the size of my arm

after what felt like weeks of nothing

 

capacity: maximum

I notice it is getting harder to sit still

 

the more that I wise up, I am surrounded by teachers 

my right shoulder blade clicks uncontrollably

 

sitting at the computer

drowning in the maze of my intestines 

 

the activities I can complete without motion

commotion:

 

laying on my stomach with two fists under my chin

ankles splayed

 

sitting on a cushion listening to Adam

he says make a toothy hiss on the exhale

 

reading Anne Carson’s notes on the Greek word,

Kalchainein, to search for the purple fish

 

the flesh for dark dye in antiquity

I am waiting with my spear

 

to catch something swimming by, anything

with all of this shit inside of me I have not been able to write even a note

 

the translation evolved, growing dark in mood,

brooding deeply over some piece of news

 

to dye your words red-purple

this morning I froze, the flicker of a shape in the shadow

 

of my sleep, finally

I dove, burgundy blood hissing in the water

 

*Float, Anne Carson